would you consider dating someone with braces an investment?
My mom is giving me a "don't tape yourself during sex" talk. It's going to be a long car ride.
These 5 days benders will be the death of me. Just living and breathing is a struggle right now.
smoking a bowl while I'm peeing. i love having a big dick.
she kept calling me pablo. i just went with it.
Bring it all. We will have a potluck of drugs. It will be magical.
remind me not to fuck anymore half bald 20 year olds. because obviously there's attachment issues
I projectile vomited in his sisters room where the toiled would have been if it were the bathroom.
Her boyfriend caught us fucking and said "cool you're cheating too" and left.
You live a charmed life.
tell me you did not just describe yourself as "hot and bothered"
Best line overheard at the bar: "This is the last time I'm shaving my ass for him...I mean we just broke up".
He said he was Greek American and that is why my legs slammed shut. During the World Cup there are only Americans.
Remember when we got high off our ass and you talked me into running in place then punched me in the face and said it was a wall?
Ya, you were bleeding for an hour and a half
i'll...probably just offer you drugs?
i'll...probably take them in all honesty
Actually I really wish that I was drinking so I could ask him for breakup sex and then later blame it on my alcoholic tendencies. Maybe tomorrow instead.
Randomize
