It felt like his penis had an endoskeleton.
what is the aproppriate waiting time between having sex and playing super Mario brothers
6 min
We did face masks and fucked...he really isn't gay, what they say about europeans is just true
I'm watching ellen!
just because im gay does not mean you need to notify me every time you watch the ellen degeneres show
so after six weeks of dating she admitted shes bi and asked if it would freak me out if we brought another girl into the bedroom. i said no in this hesitant voice and she said 'if you let me dont worry ill make it up to you'
i literally fucking hate you so fucking much.
Yea it's a sex scar. But if anyone asks I tripped up carpeted stairs
You told them that the brownies were safe, and then pointed to a passed out Ryan and said "see?"
Well it looked like you were having a fucking apiphany sitting at the toilet with a t shirt around your head
I'm at the local community college pretending to be a substitute for a computer applications class
There's a whistle here and I just want to play my whistle song on it.
You know, I think I'm going to rock the shit out of this whole mid-twenties thing. Fuck babies and weddings -- I have vodka and young cock.
I'm eating pizza in the bathtub
roommate singing save a horse ride a cowboy wearing a cowboy hat a bikini and jeans while humping the couch.
She had a toddler. It threw up and then some guy said party foul and put it on the porch. Going back next Friday.
Some guy at the bar last night bought us Arrowhead water and I was so drunk, it tasted good
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