So instead of cumming in her, I peed in her...
What did she do!?
I didn't tell her...
in spanish class. the girl next to me asked what Galapagos were. i told her they were islands. now she thinks Galapagos means islands in spanish
blow job with a beer in the shower, I just created the ultimate day spa for dudes
If the first sentence isn't something about weed or the nature of choclate I'm skipping class.
I have a ginormous moral hangover. Strip club blues.
Well, think of it this way, if this were 200 years ago your father would have received the most goats in all the village for your fertile loins. Think about that.
it's been like two and a half months. And I swear, I keep seeing walking dicks. I think I'm going crazy cause of lack of sex..
The timing couldn't have been better if I planned it. His mom walked away, I vomited in their mulch, and then his mom came back and offered me bread.
Just hit a cone using a lit sparkler. Tastes like I might die but it was magical.
He told me he loved me and then asked if we could have sex in the snow
you pulled down your pants to convince a girl you were god
Me and a 30 year old man are sitting in my bathtub in swimsuits drinking straight rum from the bottle. Don't tell me how fucked up your Christmas is.
first time i ever mailed panties back to a fuck buddy. what better of a way to say its over
I really don't know how I went from having a few drinks to waging war against ghosts in my apartment but here we are
How was I supposed to know the accent was fake before i slept with him
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