I just ate 10 fun sized 3 musakteers.. I'm pretty sure I'm about to start my period.
Talk to you next week
what the fuck were we smoking when we had a conversation about how my brother would be so proud if i fucked an orange alien?!?
Someone should tell Glenda that I only hang with her because she makes me look prettier.
she needs to go suck a dildo, because she isn't worth a dick
I just watered my plants with apple juice. Look what you made me do.
nothing like morning wood sex at 4pm. funemployment ftw
This morning is cloudy with a high chance of vomiting all over the dentist. Stay tuned for further updates.
professor came back from spring break missing a tooth
you know you made out with my sister while holding Ur girlfriends hand while she was puking in the toilet right
There is a good chance that the other night after a wedding reception i was at that i mailed you a drink coaster.
you puked on the porch, i can see your jacket on the floor next to your underwear. i know your home, unchain the door, you're the worst roommate ever.
Broke my ankle and blacked out on my scooter last night. 'Twas grand.
The fact our science teacher from high school was buying us drinks and hitting on me doesn't matter.
The modern romantic, surprising his gf w/ a gram of blow
He took me out to dinner to tell me we had to stop fucking so randomly
Honestly wish he pleased me as much as queso does
Randomize
