thanks...oh and i got my period
told you
oh hush
When I woke up his cat was sleeping on my face and i had scratch marks on my neck. not happy.
only room for one pussy in that bed.
Shit. Come in my room. Bring a trashcan and an icepack
I pretty much just threw a bunch of clothes and my vodka in a bag..idk where I'm gonna end up tonight but I'm prepared.
We got three kegs and a backhoe. Now taking bets on what charges we end up getting arrested for. Will need bail money.
Drinking gin at a party, riding a giant inflatable walrus all around the living room.
Almost bit the guy's hand who sits in front of me because he was stretching. That. Bored.
The instructions say refer to specific course material, but I'm in no mood to reopen this awful book that caused me so many lost hours of drinking.
Yeah FUCK THAT NOISE
Somehow I've got the party rigged to where I get a foot massage every time someone wants a beer out of the fridge. Hellz yeah
I still can't believe that I ate McDonald's off of my chest in his bed...
Cross faded me is not the classiest.
No not at all haha I wish there was a picture of that
He literally cried into his tacos and screamed fuck bitches. Don't know if it was the best, or the worst hook up, ever.
Uhh I just had to break up with a guy who I didn't even know I was dating...
What has my life become? I'be officially recruited my fuck buddy for help getting my ex back.
The man at the checkout said "Somebody's not fucking around".
It's gonna be a good night
Remeber when we went camping and fucked those two guys? Yeah me either but I'm covered in poison oak so I'm guessing it's from that.
Randomize
