I'm single ladies-ing it in my kitchen alone. after I just made an intense new breakup cd and before I drown my sorrows by marinating alone in my jacuzzi later. I cant tell if this is a new low or a new high
you ever get that eerie feeling when you walk in a room, when you know youve barfed here before.
I should have been more specific when I asked for 8 inches.
People are suprisingly accepting of someone doing a walk of shame in a toga...
I feel like I'm on let's make a deal. should I go with what's behind bulge number 1 or bulge number 2?
Cops just came and got two guys out of my class. I can't do college. Seriously cannot rage at this school anymore.
If there was a build-a-penis, I would build that penis.
She said pants are for pussies while spooning peanut butter onto her frosted flakes with a serving spoon. She's not even high yet.
Oh, cold wet seat on the 48! Are you piss? Are you the sweaty ass leavings of an obese person? Are you the spilled King Cobra from the night before? I do not know! I dare not smell to find out... Pants ruined...
You having your own car has severely reduced the amount of blowjobs I get.
Baruch atah adonai DAT ASS DOE
Handcuffs. Recoverd. I'm a goddamn detective.
My neighbor came out@4am in a pink nite gown n clotheslined a punk on a mo-ped w/her mop handle, then just walked back in her house like she just checked the mail. MILF 1 PUNK 0
I just want to meet a nice normal guy that doesn't want me to taze him while we have sex. . . . .is that too much to ask for?
Who the fresh hell put 2 pillows a raincoat and a guitar on top of me to keep me warm last night
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