upper decked the toilet at the restaurant that wouldn't let me pee there yesterday
I owe all of my success to double stuf oreos and weed.
handjob tips. give me some.
i dont care that its taken 20 hrs to pee without hurting, BEST HATE SEX EVER.
I mean I'm basically single. Or maybe just an asshole. Either way.
He moved away. I mourned his dick all of Sunday. I feel a little better now.
Dude it was weird. The strippers vagina tasted kind of like your mother's.
just had to make the 420 edibles gluten free and kosher for passover.
Tried to steal a keytar from my hook up's house.
How could I forget your birthday? I have an alarm in my phone to ask you for sex that day.
Sometimes I just want to serenade his penis with cheesy 80s songs.
fond memories of taking my pregnancy test here in this Burger King
So I just got drugs from a house with a giant cross on it. Thank you, Jesus.
I'm doing the walk of shame into my therapists office wearing his clothes...I guess go big or go home
My throat is burning
Thats because you proceeded to drink the salsa because you thought it was alcohol...dumbass
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