question: masturbation: how much is too much? I think i'm about to tip toe a fine line
I wish I could rss feed the hooker ads on craigslist because it looks suspicious that I check craigslist every hour.
she went home with me because she said i reminded her of paul rudd. remind me to thank him for his awkwardness
After she came with my hands around her neck, she sat there for a minute and gave me the scuba diving sign for a-ok.
I wish I still had pics from the prostitute I paid/dated
OMG the post office opened my dildo! "we sincerely regret the damage to your package"
My neighbor is on the his front porch in a robe dipping a popsicle into what appears to be vodka. I want to be his son.
I spent most of the night convinced it was my birthday. But I was probably wrong, it can't be January, can it? I'm 90% sure its not. But maybe. The days have got shorter. Is this what unemployment feels like to everyone?
Still borderline I believe. As bad as this sounds, I feel God owes me one here and should not let his grandmother die till after my birthday
I was in the library and saw 2 dudes hackysacking in a study room with 3 girls working. I asked if I could join; as soon as I closed the door the chicks offered me tequila shots. study session w/everyone cancelled, I'm busy.
Well you know it's going to be an interesting night when the bathroom attendant is doing hail marrys
omg so there's this guy on the roof and he just stripped for no reason and now i think he's making out on the rooftop with some other guy? who are these people
Come on, what straight woman, gay man, or bi person HASN'T scrolled through Justin Trudeau pictures after a bad day?
That's good to know, because I will be doing terrible things to you. Terrible things, John, wicked, evil, maniacal things shall happen to you and I will have the audacity to call it sex
STILL COMPLETELY OKAY WITH THIS
You said the best orgasm you ever had, you gave to yourself. your boyfriend looked really disappointed. so did half the room.
Randomize
