I'm actually pretty neutral about a lot of things. I'm like Switzerland with a penis.
We stopped her at 12
12 shots? Or 12 midnight?
Which answer would freak you out less
my financial goal is to have my cable back before football season starts
Hangovers were designed by God when he decided that so far he had taken it WAY TOO EASY on me.
She only remembers me when she's drunk. It's like I'm a suppressed memory that only surfaces with alcohol.
My professor just used the phrase "balls deep in your mind". My day is officially made.
She looks like if Peter Griffin was a lesbian.
Run away.
theres 2 cans of open Campbell's soup on the counter and a note that says "guess which one is puke" ... want lunch?
Please. That's just a patriotism boner. I watched Michael phelps win another medal and had to change my underwear.
Hey do you have any hot friends that would settle for less?
Are you sure he's still you're boyfriend when you're sober?
I mean, I've had her boob in my mouth, but is that romance?
She moved all of her stuff out while we were gone. Shit in the toilet, and didn’t flush. So yeah it went well.
my mom just came into my room and handed me a news paper article about women on the verge of a drinking problem... i can already tell its not about to be sunday funday
I do not recommend playing football on LSD like at all
Randomize
