Just passed an anti-circumcision dude with a sign. Handing-out-bibles guy has been officially one-upped.
I think any school that has COCKS written on it's baseball hats has their priorities straight.
who the fuck is that kid sitting with you...
I don't have any fucking idea. I woke up and he was there. I'm kinda creeped out.
just woke up to a get well card i wrote myself when i was drunk. it was by the advil. i am a cocky bitch.
Lmao the neighbor heard yall last night She wanted me to tell you way to finish strong
Dude so coolest charity idea ever, think aids walk but instead of miles you drink beers oh the possibilities
Using a 12 year old as a wingman. Does that make me a bad person?
I can't feel my clothes. I'm convinced I'm naked
I started having a bad trip because I closed my eyes and got lost in a forest of patterns and I knew my mom would be upset.
Can you pick up from work today? There's a surprise for you on the bed and I haven't gone blind which is positive.
FOUND: my underwear in the cabinet above the toilet. What the actual fuck.
I tell you, MacGyver never had to put up with people shitting themselves while he worked...
So I've reached a new low. After completing my walk of shame and being told "see you around", I took off my heels to discover he had came in my shoe.
Today, I lack passion for anything but Taco Tuesday.
I got horny for like a second but the eggplant snapped me out of it
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