My bed smells like naked
Haha. At least it doesn't smell like herpes
Well I don't think you could recreate that hangover if you tried. It was like the perfect storm of hangovers.
His texts read Like a 15 year olds diary.
my dad just walked in on my jacking off and all he had to say was "I thought you were bigger than that".... thanks dad.
Her dress is practically falling off. It must know I'm here.
Ive yelled into your vagina. There are few lines we haven't crossed at this point.
Well it involved jumping two nine foot fences. But when you mix alcohol and persistence you can't lose.
I swear she's a drunk klepto...by the end of the night she had stolen 3 bowling balls. HOW DO YOU STEAL 3 BOWLING BALLS?
Hey you remember last Super Bowl when I sent you a pic of my testicles? Memories...
Please don't throw the wedding bouquet at me
Worst way to find out I have a half sister
where are my pants?
in the oven.
I need advice on ways to politely say “fuck you on your way to hell”.
You drank whiskey for 9 hours and did not eat anything.Nothing good was going to come from that.
I mean, who hasn’t been fingered in there back of an Uber?
Randomize
