I remember asking you "need some dick tonite?"
Yeah I guess to me frat party equals penis party. oh the wonders of vodka.
I love girls that fake tan. Can you say p p p p p p p p pumpkin face
the guy next to me needed a pen, so I let him take one from my book bag. my panties are now being passed around the class...thank you for telling me you hid them in my bookbag.
is it bad that listening to the rabbi's wife talk about how we should only be with one person is making me really, really horny for no string attached sex
I don't know, I don't really wanna ask the question, "Mom why am I not circumcised?"
Well apparently I'm no fun since I won't have a threesome with him and my mother.
Was it a good night or a bad night when you have to apologize to someone the next day for trying to fuck them with a turtle?
Her stripper name is Geico. I'm not drunk or creative enough to make this up.
Nothing motivates a person to clean their apartment like puking up cheese ravioli beer-tequila chicken wings for eight hours.
She seems less like a roommate, and more like a homeless person who snuck into your apartment.
I woke up wearing my panties and an eyelash, soo I'd say your birthday was a success.
The only alcohol at my aunts was mikes hard so I drank 9 of them and puked in the master bath
I don't want to go back to the suburbs. Being drunk in public isn't ok and theres too many children. Don't make me.
He sent me a dick pic for every page I had to write for final papers (87) & brought me adderall. Tell me that isn't romance.
One less thong to worry about.
One less *thing! But probably that too.
Randomize
