Saw some pubes in our toilet, hope the new look works out tonight.
i voted for prop eight dipshit. more weddings = more CAKE.
We couldn't find any ping pong balls, so we used a fishing bobber. Could we be more country?
i'm as serious about my hair as jesse from full house.
that is uncle jesse to you, show some respect.
She fell asleep on the sidewalk and people starting using her as a hurdle
So after I pop out this baby we need to just go on a monthlong coke binge so I can get skinny again before vegas
She swung at the pinata with crutches
please tell me why my pillow is wearing your thong...
...i wondered where i left that...
Of course the bar would go completely silent right as I yell out "I don't have AIDS"
You were sitting on the filthy kitchen floor eating a packet of grated cheese, and you were crying because you couldn't find any cheese.. I'd say our party was a success.
If you come home soon there's a stripper in the shower. Don't be alarmed
I just ordered 30 klonopins from India that could probably be anything from Viagra to Midol. You need to find another friend to get advice from right now
so let me get this straight... she's showing a cameltoe that can be seen from the space station and I'm NOT supposed to stare?
I fucked him on shrooms. His dick looked like a missile and he had snakes coming out of his ears. It. Was. AWESOME!
Okay so as of now, we may either be coming for one night, two nights, or not at all this weekend. It depends on Laura's toe and if I get my period. Will explain later
Randomize
