Ok I might come if this chair quits being so great...I'm also seeing this bush in the corner turn into a witch
But she tried her best to break my penis, so she has a few free passes with me
You'd be so proud. I have the flu/sore throat, so I've tied a scarf around my head and I'm microwaving jagerbombs. Let it never be said I'm not commited.
It is a special kind of bonus when you find money you hid from yourself when you were drunk in the tampon box. What did we do last period?
You are a finance major, can I use my 529 account for your bail?
I believe you called it tequila and nipples. The proceeded to strike a pose.
yeah but think of how much more hungover we'd be if we didn't steal those cookies
I woke up naked on his boat with a cowboy hat on with a boat cover over me... Thank you tequila!
Eight drinks in. Subject is fondling chips before eating them. Intoxicated texting has expanded from best friend to random guy I met in FBLA.
Drank for free all night and I'm not even sleeping w the bartender. What is this magic?
I just want my paycheck, and my friends. And alcohol and tacos. Is that so much to ask?
I've orgasmed so many times tonight I think I've become enlightened
Knows all the good gay bars AND has a dog? Wtf can't I drop pizza on guys like that????
I think I'm gunna glue a sign to my head that says "WAKE ME UP BEFORE 7!" And go to sleep and hope a kind passer by wakes me up for my exam .
I just woke up naked in a bed with your brother. WHAT THE HELL HAPPENED TO NOT LETTING EACH OTHER DO STUPID THINGS?
You fucked my brother?!
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