i'm watching the fashion show on bravo
you're cheating on project runway?
if you can't score coke, you buy crack.
I need to figure out what I wanna do with my life.
There are margaritas in the freezer still.
She was crying, alone at a college bar. It would have been rude NOT to try and show my penis to her.
on the way to the hospital you kept asking if we could stop at the bar first. then you proceeded to puke out the window
We had sex in the tent after his 6th beer and while we were at it we had conversations with the people outside the tent.
why would you automatically assume i'm high...
you just told me you're eating the powder of a lemonade mix.
I made a Russian puke. I outdrank a Russian. I am unstoppable.
i refuse to hook up with a girl that looks like drew carey.
No I don't want to see you. You're the reason that I'm going to need a new liver by the time I'm 30.
Is a swingers hotel appropriate for an anniversary?
YOU LEFT MY FUCKING BRA OUTSIDE OF YOUR HOUSE AND NEVER TEXTED ME.
he is sitting in the driveway by himself laughing at nothing, idk what to do
whoever decided snowing in 90 percent of campus on a night when the streets are flowing with tequila and skittles was clearly not an R.A.
How'd things go with that guy last night?
He threw up in the consol in my car then started crying about his ex girlfriend.
I know you would. And one day, we'll have a moment where i'll verbally assault a stranger for you.
Randomize
