As heartfelt as your proposal was- I will NOT marry for money- especially to someone who still owes me $700. You r officially pathetic!!
My landlord doesn't knock anymore when he shows the apt... So i just had sex in front of a family.
didn't stop?
naw, they were rude, not me.
dude relax anyone of us could have gotten that girl pregnant
Pillow talk just revealed that he originally thought I was 16.
I just woke up naked clutching a Taco Bell bag.
Attempting to teach the cat how to shake. I need a job.
Maybe STDs were invented to keep stupid people from having kids.
My body is a temple...that happens to be able to get me free Patron shots at the bar
He tried to spell out "PROM?" in his cum on my stomach during sex. It was terrible
well did you say yes?
All I want in life is to get high, take a shower, and him to go down on me. Simultaneously. That's legit my idea of heaven.
Sometimes things go your way and sometimes you get hit on by a fat drunk girl.
He asked me how france is treating me
Tell him you got so much dick you may never come back to the US. That ought to keep him away
Yes but I said "let's get a dog" not a drunk human so some rules will be established this evening
I just want to eat chicken fingers and drink beer and smoke in bed with my laptop so I can watch Netflix
So your not doing THAT great with the break up then...
You where banging on the wall asking us where we hid the door...you then crawled under the deck thinking you'd be safe. I told you to eat the nachos before the party...I told you.....
Randomize
