No. I still stand by my previous statement that nachos and tequila is the breakfast of champions.
i guess it wasn't a booty call since he got home from the club at 6:00 am... he told me to consider it morning sex
Motor boating, judging by the amount of lipstick I found I would say between 6 to 8 times
I just heard someone say "gosh-darnit" and they didn't have a southern twang. I worry for New York.
Only she could turn her genital wart appointment into a date night.
Woke up to a bottle of gatorade and a packet of saltine crackers tied to underwear hanging from my ceiling fan, along with 3 advil stuck to a piece of duct tape and a note saying "have a happy hangover- <3 you/me"
Drunk you is pretty stunner.
You didn't act like you were blacked out yesterday...
I didn't know
You screamed "show me a dick stand!" But before I could ask you wft that was you had passed out in the corner
He was just lying on the living room floor watching Star Wars with six empty pack of cigarettes and two empty cases of beer.
In his defence I guess I did take the bed, couch and dining room set in the breakup.
I'm wearing a cape at the laundromat. I really can't say shit
He had an extremely smooth butt for a man with such rough hands.
I just want to eat Taco Bell and throw it up on his doorstep.
He was stoned and starts screaming, "I ain't got but a dollar, I wanna hear waterfalls!". Maybe he can hang with us....
I was so horny last night, I failed to let him know about my current bed bug infestation.
its liver damage thursday
Randomize
