This girl is more easily done than said...
I took my penis out way before I got to the bathroom and some dude kicked me out.
New drinking game watching teenage mutant ninja turtles movie and drinking every time raphael says damn, someone says april or ms oneil, and shredder appears And every time we see a mustache
Woke up to the sound of my own moans coming from the tv....evidently it was videotaped.
Congratulations, you are no longer the only person who has watched me drunkenly pee on their furniture.
If only we could all 3 say fuck school to be stoner flight attendants
Well, it was good.. One step forward for my vaj.. One giant leap backwards for my integrity.
we walked around the neighborhood with caution tape tied around our foreheads, making indian noises. I might have disturbed a crime scene to make a native american headdress.
He paid the bartender with money from the tip jar then proceeded to hit on me in front of my date. I love frat dances
I just think his face would be more attractiveif it was framed by my thighs
So many Oreos I'm regretting this decision already but I'm happy at the same time...The straddle is real
Struggle. Not straddle. I'm not straddling anyone.
She rode my dick so hard I momentarily lost hearing. I guarantee I had the better St Patrick's.
I like it here so far, only people are a lot less accepting of my terrible decisions and it's cramping my style
We found you in the bathroom at 1AM throwing money into the toilet making wishes. That drunk.
.... Seriously?
Come by so you can take a pregnancy test with me. It's like my monthly ritual!
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