He just posted pic of sad weiner and half a butt cheek. That is it. I HATE online dating.
do you really not remember him getting up at like 4am with a leaf blower running through the house and telling people to "WAKE THE FUCK UPPP"
I just want uncharted vagina. Fresh and ripe.
I JUST MET THE GIANT MAN THAT WILL CARRY ME FROM PLACE TO PLACE
Is this like a "I'm taking you out to dinner and treating you with respect" kind of date, or is this a "I'm gonna fill you with alcohol and cheese and stuff my dick in your anus" kind of date?
After the Jell-o shots and about 6 shots of lighter fluid brand tequila, it got to the point where breathing was painful. All I could do was pray I didn't fall asleep in the front yard.
I have a taco in my pocket for later because I am a practical drunk
Ugh. Lets go crawl into a dairy-gluten-chlamydia free hole somewheres.
It's Friday the 13th and you just got boned by a guy named Jason....
Snaps to my Ella Fitzgerald station for such a jazzy walk of shame
I am seriously only coming over if there are McNuggets. I want 10 bitch. Honey mustard.
She kissed me, then said "mmm your face tastes like it needs my pussy on it."
Something must have happened, they started yelling truffle butter and you said we needed to leave NOW
On a scale from 1 to 10 how gross is it to get a chili dog from a vending machine?
I was simply suggesting that you really should try coke bondage sex.
Randomize
