Dont worry, she is sitting right next to me. She is making it clear she wants to scissor
I'm a big fan of 2 things right now: 1) Gatorade and 2) the fetal position
I learned to sign I want to be on you today
Score
Deaf chicks here I come
I'm one shot of soco 100 away from fucking a mailbox
he was drinking wine. Puking into an empty water bottle. And eating french toast. ....All at the same time.
I took the chef home. His dick even tasted like garlic
Someone just asked if you were the one who rode around the bar on some girls back
Announcement: Given the sad circumstances regarding the death of my dearest friend Chong the Bong, there will be a brief memorial service for him tomorrow evening at 10:30 at my place. After sharing some memories and sending his spirit off to the great bowl in the sky, we will all take place in the commemoration and maiden voyage of his son, Chong Squared, who eagerly waits to meet all of you. High blessings to you all, piece be with you.
Just so you know, this text is a buffer between the two guys I'm sexting. Can't get that shit messed up.
we gave you a glass of water and you just started yelling: TWO STRAWS, PATS AN ENGINEER HE'LL FIGURE IT OUT
Well yeah connect the two together, then you can lay down and drink.
It would seem she's painting a bullseye right in between her legs
Holy fuck where did this cat tattoo on my ass come from
Just sitting at dinner with my dad...simultaneously texting "daddy" to confirm saturday's spanking and telling another guy to get condoms before Im done with dinner. Don't know when I got so ate up but I'm loving it. You?
Regretting asking you what you were doing.
It's a Saturday night and I am in bed with two cats, a bottle of Riesling, and I'm masturbating to Iron Man. I'm great at being 21.
OMG WE ARE UP TO THREE MINORS WORKING HERE. I AM NOT READY FOR THIS MID LIFE CRISIS.
Randomize
