my dad wants uyo to call him right now...reverse drunk dialing
Billy Mays is dead too!
Somewhat annoying American icons better be watching their backs
they got in a fight during sex...she came out yelling and covered in chocolate
i fucked her mom dude
there's something to tell the kids
im pretty sure while i was fucking her my dog was fucking her dog too
We just did a shot to "getting laid in the bar bathroom". I love where this thursday is headed
He wants a "vagina fling" before he commits to dick for life. I'm gonna allow it.
I just hope when I turn 21, it doesn't tank my entire semester.
The last time I thought I had a UTI, I ended up having herpes. Sooo.. This time in preparing myself for cancer or death.
I was peeing in the bathroom at this house party when a guy just casually stumbles out of the shower
Piñatas plus fireworks don't mix well
Fuck it, if you can't drink cheep beer and whiskey with me, I don't want you.
I want sex. When is an appropriate time post funeral to ask for something like that. Like when it gets dark out?
You were drinking tequila through a straw.. and kept waving your arms at me and getting this intense stare down as you muttered something about jedi mind tricks.
Put my boyfriend in a chastity cage while he was passed out last night. Now I control his orgasms.
Randomize
