That taco smell coming from your belly button was a huge turnoff
He came on me while singing crank dat like soulja boy, fuck our sex life has reached a whole new level of low
I feel like I just walked the hall of shame thru the marriott. Everyone stared.
I think it was the shoes and limping. Not the sex. I could b wrong.
I accidently showed a girl my balls already today. Made me think of you.
TAKE ALL THE MAERHMALLOWS AND PUT THEM ALL IN THE MAGICAL NIGHTSTAND
He wants a "vagina fling" before he commits to dick for life. I'm gonna allow it.
Pretty sure the girl next to me in Chipotle just came out to her mom.
Dude. Why is there a hamster in my pocket? WHAT THE FUCK WAS IN THAT JOINT
She told me she was eating frosting, then I got the weirdest boner ever
Jasmine is diving into bushes again.
Hearing them have a conversation is like listening to water buffalo have sex. Awkward and scarring.
I think the "tmi" ship sailed a long time ago, and it took our dignities with it..
Because 9 pm Thursday you drink a loco cause you just wanna get drunk and have a good time with your friends. Then you wake up on Tuesday and you've had 17 locos and you're pregnant, lying on the side of the road, 3 states over. THAT'S why we don't have only locos parties.
I wonder if there is a über wall of shame that you are currently on. Like between drivers.
Your phone just changed "liver" to "liquor" how dose that make you feel
Randomize
