So my roomate was sunbathing this morning on the porch with a sock covering his penis
Sounds like a really classy character....
He is classy. It was argyle.
Is it bad everytime a fat person orders fraps I want to tell them to slow their rolls
we turned dreidel into a drinking game. i kept landing on gimel. im glad we have 7 more nights of this
how was last night?
i woke up with my hand stuck in a jam jar with my keys in the bottom and a dog licking peanut butter off my boobs. you tell me.
Agreed. Everyone should experience a blackout before 3pm in their lifetime.
we've decided to start cutting you off when you can't figure out how to work an ipod.
I mostly enjoyed dancing with him because his boner was scratching my bug bites.
Is this like a "I'm taking you out to dinner and treating you with respect" kind of date, or is this a "I'm gonna fill you with alcohol and cheese and stuff my dick in your anus" kind of date?
Biggg time. I found 2 empty packages of extenze in my car this am.... not sure what that was all about
can we just punch him in the dick and call it a victory for feminism
"She's seriously grinding on him while whispering into his ear, 'take me to McDonald's.'"
I just bout myself an edible arrangement for myself and had it delivered to work. I even wrote myself a note. This is a new low for me.
Unless you count my weekly workout where I drink wine, listen to obscure/cheesy records, and pretend I'm a ballerina...no. I don't exercise.
I just saw a guy in a zippo shirt buy 2 gallons of fire starter fluid and then proceed to smoke a cigarette. I feel like hes got some big plans for his tuesday.
i just used your hair clip to unclog my bong. i miss you so much!
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