Just bought purple Ray Bans. If there was any small chance that I would ever have sex with women ever again, I just buried it.
Leave Me Alone
At least least me cry on your voice mail
I kept telling myself all night that it was completely okay for me to lose all sense of my morals because it was my birthday.
No more tipping the bathroom attendant with your phone.
he was holding his dick in one hand and my boob in the other and i looked down and thought, this is my life
I'm studying for my midterm by watching porn with Spanish subtitles. Surprisingly the words are still really distracting..
if i'm ever face-down on the ground puking again, promise me you won't try to braid my hair?
She told me to pick her up in the corner of shame and self-disgust.
listen. he fixes things. buys me drinks and sticks his penis in my vagina. age means nothing at this low point in my life.
So I've discovered that being hungover at 25 feels the same as being hungover at 24. Happy Birthday to me.
I mean I want to be happy but it's a train wreck that you can't look away from
Best line overheard at the bar: "This is the last time I'm shaving my ass for him...I mean we just broke up".
Whelp, I woke up on the front lawn this morning. I have got to stop wearing these underwear. Every time I do, I end up puking in someone's greenery.
so third time im replacing the batteries on my vibrator in 2 months #sosingle....on another note though, black beauty is raring to go
I miss your drunken presence, and strong odor of hard liquor and potent weed.
Randomize
