She is in my trunk
he quoted Bring It On. It's over.
Old men and throwing up are my life now.
I just negotiated a blow job for an interview.
Saying we were separated at birth, got on a ship and sailed here via onion barrel from Somalia didn't help our case at all....
Apparently I joined a band last night. Definitely my favorite blackout.
Kayla got stiches in her face. Rode in an ambulance shotgun. Tried to steal a baby, thought it was mine
I tried. Now my legs are bleeding and I cracked my head on the coffee table. Never taking your advice again.
I'm babysitting my fucking roommate he took out the screen and is trying to throw dishware in our fucking pool after he repelled off our balcony
I feel like I owe it to them to wear pants.
crossing my fingers that hitting golf balls off my pourch was a dream and not something that actaculy happened
My serious response to your Cathy tattoo inquiry- Do you ever want to get laid by someone not wearing a Blossom style bucket hat? Tattoo accordingly.
I was afraid she wouldn't be able keep up but I woke up in a bathtub, she called me a pussy and made me pancakes.
I told myself I'd stop after three shots of fireball. Haha HA hA.
My left boob kept making random appearances last night.
Randomize
