Fantastic night. drank beer from a wine bottle, danced on a van, chased a llama, and fell from a fence
i just looked up and i was like omg ballsack and then i didnt know what to do
I wonder what it would be like to go to the dry cleaners and not have to inform them that all my clothes are stained with booze.
Hey I never found my wallet but i did find a bag of 14 soft taco supremes
I have your wallet. Trade you for the tacos.
Sometimes when I see a shoe on the side of the road, I get a little depressed that I've never partied that hard.
Hey start looking around for a low rider Subaru. Well get a loan. It will be capital for our first music video.
Your mother liked my album on facebook that's only filled with drunk pictures. I don't know what to feel about this
i don't remember going ever taking off my pants but my pubes are shaved into a K and kelsey is passed out in the shower.
At least he finally released me from his spooning oven of death...
He got too drunk... he threw up ON the closed toilet.
It's a Jersey thing
I may be going to Mexico. I just met a drug dealer at a strip club. Seems legit.
And the view of you in reverse cowgirl is arguably the most spectacular view ever... And I've seen the Eiffle tower, the colosseum, mountains of Hawaii, Michaelangelo's David, and the Mona Goddamn Lisa. Just saying.
Dude the little bong I just got fits nicely in the cup holder in my car. The gods approve of my habits.
Clearly you've confused me for someone who has their shit together, and honestly I have no idea how you did that.
I kept telling you not to give them blowjobs, but you kept screaming back, "it's okay, we're friends on facebook!"
Randomize
