dude i need help, im throwing up blood.
no youre not, you just drank a pitcher of red koolaid trying to sober up.
oh, so thats why my junks red.
wow. cant help you there...
U sang "shots, shots, shots" then walked 2 ur top drawer and threw socks everywhere singin "SOCKS, SOCKS, SOCKS!"
I had to drink heavily last night because I needed to forget that you told me you want to blow my dad.
I guess I tried to show you how big my closet was and we ended up eating pickles in my bathroom
we put a pacifier in your mouth because you kept drunkenly singing country music.
What the fuck am I going to do with a pinata full of tampons?
when i first looked at you, you weren't wearing any pants. but then i realized you had them around your neck as a cape.
At least I got to make out with you a little before you proposed.
Update: I may or may not be in a cult
Update #2: I may or may not be the leader of said cult
I'm not entirely sure how getting 'house drunk' turned into us getting trashed, being serenaded by karaoke and going out. But it needs to happen again.
Closed my eyes in the shower and got really dizzy. Not sure if neurological or result of 4 day vodka binge. Send help.
It's scary that my vibrator is a dangerous weapon. I want a new one.
You just kept mumbling about the carpet being covered in stains that looked like the face of God. Until you decided that they were closer in relation to Dumbledore.
You made the lady who made your cheeseburger sign the box so that when she got famous you would have her autograph.
Is there any chance of you maybe wanting a bouncy house at your wedding. Like maybe a .0001 chance. If so I would totally chip in for that.
Randomize
