that knocking you heard last night......that was her head slowly going through the wall
shes in my pool wearing only floaties on her arms ill have to raincheck watching march madness with you guys sorry
OK, the bar's closing. Do I go to home to my wife or my girlfriend?
She has no definite jawline and all of her photo's have Ke$ha quotes as captions followed by a "<3" Even by your standards that is embarrassing.
He passed out naked in my bathroom, then took a shower, then passed out again and then took another shower. Last time I let my brother visit.
How do you think the people in my class would react if I ripped all my clothes off and jumped on him right now?
how is telling me how long you drunkenly fucked someone supposed to make me miss you?
Hey hey, in my defense we were just suppose to watch Disney movies from a blanket fort with beer and nachos. I was I suppose to know it would end in tears?
She had caution tape on her head and she blew me.
THIS IS NO TIME FOR SHAME JOSH. JUST GOTTA GET IT IN. PURELY FOR LEVELING UP PURPOSES
But I did spend part of my morning scrubbing your cum off my grandmothers piano.
He brought me Plan B in the snowstorm.
A+ 👏🏼
It was after I slept with him he tells me he's a juggalo
Well it was nice knowing him
I was playing 'If You Had To Fuck One or Die' with the old composite pictures with a guy in the bathroom line. They were all pretty ugly so I go "You can tell this is a lower tier frat"......turns out the guy was a brother
All I remember is being lured out to sit by the fire by you holding a piece of pizza in front of me
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