we dont do blackfin have a good night :)
Just saw cops pull over the ice cream truck. What a dick
Found my new morning breakfast spot. Hospital cafeteria. Nobody asks questions, they just assume shit went downnn
all you kept yelling was "i'm bored and i'm sober"
This girl just stopped in the middle of a sentence because of my blue eyes. She said she got lost in them. I am laying pipe tonight.
He Facebook stalked his way right into my pants.
I'm really hoping to find some quality strange ass tonight while at my court appearance.
I swear some just paged for more cock rings over the intercom.
Dude... You called me at 3am to tell me you still had your pants.
Seeing the pictures of him and i, I'm giving whiskey the win on this one. Definitely had beer goggles.
You said "bag of dicks" before passing out and falling off the landing
Oh god... Please tell me Sarah didn't see me like this
...you may have kinda punched her in the tit on the way down...
I am rewearing my dress from last night. I only wore it for like two hours before fucking. And I took it off first so no cock contact. This is my new standard of cleanliness.
No ive been in the mountains getting high and baking cookies with a 4 year old
In the officer's defense, I was indeed pantless at the time he cuffed me, but there's a perfectly good explanation.
THERE ARE NO EMOJIS TO SHOW MY SEXUAL FRUSTRATION
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