I'm really tired of cleaning up my twitter the morning after
No, i know about the eggs and penis, the oh wow was for the fire
And it just wouldn't be a Thursday night without me having to cuss out a foreigner. The streak continues.
I was passed out in a dog food bowl tor two hours. Just tapped my dinner beer. I love homecoming.
Do you think that my Facebook profile picture kinda look like im being raped by a 10 foot polar bear ?
i feel like my tongue has its own mouth, and that mouth just bit its tongue and is clenching its teeth.
Just had the "whores are people too" talk with Mom. Bright side it's Christmas, and I may have been drunk, I don't think she caught on.
Ran into him again last night, stole his glowstick and walked away. The glowstick mountain in my room keeps growing.
I completely forgot about the posting of partying pics shortly after adding my gma my dad was like grandma says your all over fb but she doesn't know how to use it. Of course I'm all over her fb. She's got 6 friends I am her newsfeed
There is an alarming amount of food in my bra.
Who's the easier target... Bandages on the knees, tramp stamp, or bra showing? Not in the mood to work for it tonight.
There's nothing wrong with using cocaine to keep my heart rate up in my fitness class.
How does one take the "you're the best sex I've ever had but I'm marrying someone that's sub-par in the sack" mind fuck?
I pity the fool.
Thanks Mr T.
The guy at the liqiour store just said "Wow haven't seen you in awhile, is everything okay?"
I wore my old cheerleading uniform.. He came before I even touched his dick. Should I be irritated, or flattered?
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