We got bored. So we went to planned parenthood to stare at everyone who made worse decisions than us last night.
I went to moterboat her and I started laughing, so I just kinda blew on them... I think I'm gona call that move the sailboat.
Brogan sounds similar to Bridget...sorta.
Every girl's name is automatically translated to "Baby/Milk Carrier" in my brai
He asked me to grab his balls and yell "thats a spicy meat-a-ball" Last time I do requests.
Ate apple sauce off his penis. Nutritious and slutty.
The gym has a pool
my gym membership just went from "way to get in shape" to "place to go swim when I'm high"
He made me leave when I challenged "all you bitches" to a game of strip taboo.
What are you doing St Patricks day? I'm banned from all work parties with open bar ever since the cinco de mayo party that I dumped a drink on my co-workers head and played air guitar on my boss' ankle cast.
Dude i swear to christ if he sends me one more pic of a "magnificent dump" im changing my number
Pretty sure I recall hugging our waiter from the bar last night. That also means we are NEVER going there again
So I put a beer on your bed and jumped on th3 other side of the bed like in the commercials. You my good sir, owe me a budweiser that your bed drank.
She kept calling herself DJ McDonalds and said she wanted to make some Egg McMusic.
Your shirt... Was in my pants
I'm SO high. And there is so much pudding in this car
operation Bang Australian Boy = oh so successful
Randomize
