She was lying the whole time!
She was a great actress
I was a great dumbass
her vagina looked like a handful of raisins.
I wish a night of watching Dear John and a bottle of wine could cure my herpes.
Jeff just maced a waitress...it's way too early for this.
thank god my boss can't smell the tequila on my breathe over the phone.
Howd you meet this guy?
I found him next to my pants on sunday morn.
i'm drinking margaritas from a pouch...really dont think i'm in the position to judge anyone...
I'm pretty sure blacking out is a coping mechanism.
It was pathetic and I was covered in butter
My drunk neighbor is arguing with a goose in his yard. This was the highlight of my day.
I might as well rub my vagina against it before I throw it away.
She gave you a handy in the bar and you were surprised she was good with a dick?
Hahah good point
I shaved my entire vagina for a man who had the personality of a potato and a C- orgasm. Life is a series of disappointments.
I just want to drink bourbon and have sex and then eat like, a Christmas cookie.
the only things my left hand does: catch/hold things and masturbation.
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