you dont know how to answer ppls txts anymore?!?
im sorry, i don't get text messages.
Tried killing a moth in our bathroom. Water everywhere. Don't worry about it.
she is the female version of PC from the mac and pc commercials..i'll still hit tho
i just missed the spain goal because i was puking in the bathroom. damn you open bar.
It was romantic. He brought over a bottle of Jack to celebrate us becoming official on Facebook. Definitely a story for the grandkids.
Actually, considering the facts that I am wearing a duct tape dress and eating a gas station quesadilla, I am pretty good.
stumbled upon a picture of an owl staring me in the face. i almost offered him a bong hit.
Just helped a homeless man panhandle outside of Wawa, made him $6.31. Where are you?
His tongue was like Jesus himself was blessing my boobs for eternal ecstasy.
I'm not so sure Jesus approves of such activities, but ok.
I remeber being on the roof last night and we put our heads togeather and we touched each others face and said "Hennessyyyy"
Mistakes were made. Hot mistakes that I want to make again. But tapping your employee is def a mistake. Esp in front of two other employees.
No sorry. I may be a happy drunk but my gag reflux is an angry drunk.
Just realized Ive never seen my f buddy in the daylight. What if he looks different?
I was so drunk last night dude. I woke up this morning to my oven being wide open and my pants on the kitchen floor.
Excuse you? I'm an asshole at least 90% of the time. Get it right.
Randomize
