So my graduate coordinator is possible gay man. I may have just found the easiest way to a degree ever.
Good plan b, put your number on all your forms. Hello gamefull employment.
Take that integrity
did you seriously just ask me if there is such thing as a sophisticated batman shirt?
You might not want to sit on your couch. Actually you may want to throw it away. My bad.
I mean, I'd wanted to go skinny dipping, hook up with him and have sex on a beach, so last night I basically killed 3 birds with one super slutty stone.
At some point last night was I riding a garbage can.. Things are starting to come back to me
He told me to come in and have some water before I drove home, my vagina didn't stand a chance escaping. We didn't even make it to the kitchen.
I feel like I should have backed off when "I love you" came out on the third date. Now I'm in her bed wondering which door my shrine is behind. Fuck.
the last time I drank tequila I ended up riding your skateboard nude down the street... so yeah, I'll have a few shots.
In bathroom. Hand in air with cell phone. Help.
I witness him finger a girl behind the dj decks yet I'm still going to meet up with him. Wtf is my life
Need a Dr's note to excuse me from blowjobs for 3-6 weeks while my jaw heals..
I butt dialed her mom while cheating on her. Needless to say Christmas will be awkward.
I would also like you to tell your human bio class that I successfully smoked out the flu. 103 degree when I woke up yesterday. 100degree after one bowl. 4 more bowls and 16 hours later all that's left is a cough
You shouted "my financial aid just came in, who wants a shot?!" Half the bar followed
I'd call the fact I ended up in my own bed a huge success
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