I was about to buy asher roth's album and then i realized he was a ginger. can't support
And hes hitting me with his balls, really hard.
I miss Michael Jackson so much sometimes
I feel if a girl leaves my house the next morning feeling degraded and in desparate need of a shower, then I have succeeded.
walk of shame into the pharmacy with a busted up chin and laughing the lady at the counter rolled her eyes at me when I asked for the morning after pill.
There comes a time where you just have to sit back and watch the drunken idiots pee on each other
I want a calm night. Not one where I wake up to you topless and bloody.
Just thought you should know the man you CHOSE to father your children has once again fallen asleep on the toilet. thanks mom
Friendly reminder that on the walk home you tripped but instead of falling to the sidewalk, you tried to save it and ended up headbutting my ex-boyfriend in the balls. ILU.
a pizza costume came into my possession last night. needless to say i showed up to his house wearing only the pizza, shouting "delivery" into his window.
Don't get me wrong, the sex itself is amazing, but I don't think I will EVER get used to her habit of singing lines Jesus christ super star when she is about to cum.
Seriously I am not buying you condoms anymore. You're 22, if you aren't woman enough to buy them yourself then you don't deserve orgasms. Grow some tits.
You bet your firm but soft ass I miss you
Something in me snapped and now I’m just googling famous vegans.
I'm wearing men's underwear
I don't know what to do with that information...
Randomize
