i think i have two assholes
Fuck appropriateness.
So I was watching the View and they were saying oral sex is the new goodnight kiss
So when are we having a sleepover?
hickory dickory dock, please dont tell me about your cock
so when we got to the frat house he had a travel sized toothpaste and toothbrush for me and gave me a pair of his shorts and a girl's sorority t shirt...something tells me he's done this before
I need a $60 an hour job, because I have a $50 an hour drinking habit.
Romer got arrested for getting in a bar fight with a bus boy because he was trying to steal a keg, had it all the way to the car
It's official. 2011 is the year of sport fucking
dude, i woke up with a mini keg on my night stand. again. like wtf
I was stumbling so much, men walking behind us were shouting "don't hit the pole! don't hit the pole!" whenever I was near a telephone pole.
And then we will celebrate by drinking and making fun of him. As per usual.
Where'd you go last night?
Don't EVER let me photobomb a group of lesbians again. They made me their "straight mascot" and I ended up singing Donna summer tunes for beers at their apartment complex.
Woke up in a sombrero and a males speedo. Tequila makes normal peoples clothes fall off, however it makes me fall into a questionable identity crisis
We accept all of your sexual lovers, Jewish, episcopalian, atheist. Dick is dick
look when god gives you a dick that good for his son's birthday you don't question it
Randomize
