Suite mates just came in and said that we have to go to Africa. They're already packed. Didn't know you could get that high.
His facebook status is an owl city song. I'm so glad i didn't end up fucking him.
I wonder who the first pervert was, and if he would be proud of me for advancing his art form by so much
You know you're a nerd when you lose track of how many times you've gotten turned on watching Glee.
Dude. Remember the only two rules I set for that? Always have a sober friend and don't do drugs with a fat chick.
My dads not up on pop culture but he's not dumb enough to believe your 2 girls 1 cup reference at dinner was from the bible.
Maybe he'll be famous someday and I can forget that anything embarrassing may have happened and just say that I fucked that famous guy.
That was the #1 scariest moment in my life. I have full trust in you, I let you bite my penis for god sake.
Also, I'm going to TRY and be casual this weekend, but really, we need to be serious about equally dividing our time between party and bullshit.
after you left he started opening his bottles by smashing the neck against the edge of the fireplace and pouring beer into his mouth. it was about the manliest thing ive ever seen. its probably how lumberjacks open their beers... if they didnt have their axes handy.
Is it normal that every guy I hook up with tells me my hair is sexy as it's happening? Like that can't be normal
Question #1: Why am I on my living room floor? Question #2: Where did the bloody footprints come from? Question #3: Why are there two McChickens next to the wine bottle?
I just rolled a blunt and took my bra off. I'm not going anywhere.
Can I just fuck someone without it basically becoming an arranged marriage
How did i get home and why am i wearing someone elses shorts?
1. Not sure how 2. You showed up naked, we had to dress you.
Randomize
