I think I kinda wanna bone that ginger from Harry Potter.
You literally just made my flesh crawl.
My t9 writes chubies instead of bitches.
either way. win, win.
Just pulled my keys, cell-phone and a pack of cigarettes out from between my cleavage. This one guy's face was priceless.
I think I'm going to inject the gummy vitamins with vodka
I'm glad you're using your medical degree for some good for once
All i have left of him are the magnum X-Large condoms he left in my room, knowing full well that no other guy I hook up with will be able to fill his shoes. He taunts me.
We found her hiding in the bath tub.. And when i opened the curtain she replied "thank you" and walked out like nothing happened.
Dangr zzzzzzzzone
We told you to stay put for 2 minutes. We come back out and your being handcuffed yelling "DO YOU FEEL LIKE A GOOD FUCKING PERSON ARRESTING ME ON MY BIRTHDAY?!"
They're putting plan B in vending machines now. My life just got so much easier.
FONT CPME TO THE TRUK. I REPATE SONT COME TO THE TRUCK WERE GETTON FRAEKY
Just got flashed by an entire bus of girls in school uniforms. We then had to wait beside each other at a light. It was awkward.
my head feels like a yellow yolk spinning in a circle at the bottom of the bowl.. i may have a concussion, love auto correct
You guys had reggaeton music playing while dry humping? Definition of romance.
it's pizza time hurry your sexcapades
Drake has all the answers
Randomize
