I kissed a girl and did not like it. Now I hate Katy Perry even more.
I wish my mouth had a period so that could be my excuse on those days I don't feel like giving head
Just woke to a Christmas wrapped pack of hotdogs in my bathtub. How high did we get?
you looked up at me mid puke with tears in your eyes and asked to make sure no one took your turn at Wii
I was just tagged in a picture with a bunch of people i don't know in a house i don't recognize wearing a purple cowboy hat and a boa...i hate tequila
I want the one making out with the dumpster. Is that bad?
just watched a cripple ollie in his wheelchair to get on to the elevated floor in the bar. I. LOVE. WISCONSIN
I have cum and leaves all over me. Don't ask questions.
WE SHOULD FUCK TWO GUYS THAT LIVE TOGETHER
THAT WOULD BE SO CONVENIENT WE COULD CARPOOL
Also. When I die, I'm gonna have them put me in the casket naked and then have an open casket funeral. That will be my last chance to make people uncomfortable.
Judging by your snapchat you're totally working on your project and definitely not singing, "The Sign" while shirtless with another man.
I can still be you friend and be there for you. And sometimes get drunk and fuck you.
Look, all I'm looking for is a good time and someone whose chest I can bury my face in
so.. please tell me you did not really sleep on the washing machine last night
guilty
You kept running around yelling "I need my pajamas" & then you got naked. Shit just went downhill from there.
Randomize
