She just sent me a txt where every word ended in "zzz", with about a hundred "!!!" and called herself "juicezzz". I need back up.
This is the first month I have not taken plan B to get my period in over a year
And somehow that makes me sad knowing I haven't had raunchy unprotected sex in a month
Killed two birds with one stone: found my wallet and unclogged the toilet.
I've been drunk so often this summer being sober is exciting
It was beyond pathetic. You yelled her name at every blonde chick we saw hoping it would be her. Then you puked your corn dog
If I go there, please come with. It will accelerate the lesbian rumor but be totally worth it.
I demanded respect from my fuck buddy. Drunk me is not fun.
it's not like i was drunk to the point of NEEDING help...i just wanted someone to offer to hold my hair or something.
I got my project done and a booty call in all before 1am. I'm a professional college kid.
I believe I won the Golden Vodka Bottle of sadness last night for crying while being party boyed.
It's gay softball weekend. Lots of hot gay strangers to go home with.
I went eBay shopping last night. Turns out I brought a Viking drinking horn. I can't even be mad.
exhale infront of a fan. self shotgun.
Dick very happy bro
RICK BROUGHT THE HOT BARTENDER HOME. SOMEONE CALL THE FIRE DEPARTMENT, CUZ RICKYS ON FIIIIIIIRE.
lmao nvm she punched him in the face and left
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