hook me up with the drugs dog keep up the good work
we went back to her place to bone only to find her boyfriend having sex.. with MY girlfriend
you said you didn't feel like drinking anymore so you mixed vodka with your applesauce and ate it
no where in the syllabus does it say "no alcoholic beverages allowed".
I know. I just don't want anything else. I have no other desire. Just a ham sandwich.
I honestly don't know what to make of that.
A ham sandwich would be nice.
her bf's celebrating 10 yrs of service at kfc...it's safe to say all the good men are taken
also: i found my "nug jug", actually the baby did, but either way it got returned to its rightful owner
I've never seen a grown man cry so much after getting jerked off by a stripper. I say it's the best $600 he ever spent.
I'm drinking screwdrivers in the pool naked. Call 911 if I don't check in regularly
I can't wait for the day Google doesn't remind me that I got arrested for having 3 shots called 'frog cum' lined up in front of me.
Ended up getting hot boxed in a limo with a bunch of asians going to a karaoke bar. I think I pretended to understand their language for a solid hour. Am I bilingual now?
You've never sent a girl a dick pic?
Call me old fashioned
I don't care if we're married you can't just walk into the bedroom with a pizza box expecting to get laid
Hey it's Males-You-Probably-Wish-You-Hadnt-Had-Sex-With Monday. MYPWYHHSWM
You know, normal sex stuff involves shitting your pants. If you do it right.
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