why cant girls ever use the fly? why do they always have to awkwardly try to pull it over your belt?
seriously who else gets carried home puking from a fucking mary kay party?
You said "i miss him" not "i miss his dick." You're getting emotionally attatched. Shame.
The kid I'm babysitting just asked if I had a boyfriend. WHY IS A FOUR YEAR OLD MAKING ME FEEL BAD ABOUT MY LIFE
But please don't judge me if i smell like mustard
Heed the warning of the ghost of Oktoberfest present: German beer is soooooooo much better than our watered down children's piss. also lost all my clothes and am wearing lederhosen the rest of the trip.
PRINCE HARRY WAS AT WAL MART SO NEXT TIME YOU BITCH ABOUT GOING TO WAL MART REMEMBER THAT EVEN PRINCE HARRY GOES TO WAL MART.
That sucks about the drama. But hey, it's always a good day when you see someone get tazed!
Well be careful man. Be careful. Wear shoes in the house. Safety. Safety first, then teamwork.
Well, when you bump into your parents at a swingers meetup, it's time to change cities
He invites me over too FucK and i wind up eating 6 jimboys tacos with his roommates. While he waited in his room. Maybe next time
I know, my friend Erin took me into the bathroom at work and poured pickle juice on me.
I'm covered in glow paint and I can't find my shirt. So, successful night
Every time I burp I plan an escape route because I'm scared I'm gonna puke on grandma
im drinking out of a pineapple, so yea.
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