I think I am morally bankrupt
I just let someone steal something bc they were so fucking weird and wouldn't leave me alone
The professor just announced to the class that I talked to him in the bar on my birthday.
I have no idea. I woke up naked on someones toilet locked in the bathroom with two baby kittens.
We went into lab today and when no one was looking i touched our cadaver's penis!
i'm drunk and confused. there might be a 4 year old here.
life is no where near the amusement park it was when I was on Vicodin.
Well I pulled a muscle in my leg dancing in the tanning booth drunk at 1 pm soooo there's that
I'd rather just be alone, than deal with this bullshit. I just want to be alone. Cats and vibrators never let you down.
Im laying on the couch wishing someone was here to pour wine in my mouth. I need an alcohol IV
Dude, that was like bongs ago.
Would you still love me if my nipple fell off?
I just traded a couple nudes for pizza delivery. Call me lazy, easy, or an entrepreneur, but either way I'll have dominoes in 15 minutes.
I JUST WANTED TO GET SOME MOTHER FUCKING TACOS I AM SINGLE AS FUCK TACOS BRING PREOPLE TOGETHER OKAY
Unless it has to do with ramen, goldfish, cheese, or rugby, don't talk to me.
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