My sheets at my parents place are clean. No braveheart but I can paint myself, yell "freedom", and sword fight you with my cock. So come over.
if there werent so many compromising pictures of me in the hands of so many liberal friends, id consider going into politics
I want to jerk off but my dog won't leave me alone. It's the most depressing cock block ever.
My mom just told me that after i turned eight i stopped growing mentally and emotionally
LETS GO REDSKINS!
Quit drinking and watching your DVR, it's wednesday.
I wouldnt endorse that guy if he was walking in a walkathon to raise money for a disease i had
Is it bad to go up to the security desk and ask them for the name of the guy I signed in last night? I have absolutley no clue
There was a guy running for some position in our government named "young boozer" hell yes I voted for him
Have you ever tried running while drinking 151?
My roommate said I banged on the wall and said, "this dude eats pussy like a champ."
If you could watch a water balloon run... That's what it's like watching her run.
I've come to the conclusion all of your awkward and complicated male encounters could easily be intercepted by a man town Yankee candle and a vibrator. Sleep on that tell me your thoughts in the morning. Sweet dreams.
Dude I'm at a Marijuana dispensary party. They are giving away BAGS of edibles
How do you keep ending up in these situations?
My dad is their accountant
I shaved my balls for you. Do you have any idea how hard that is?
just woke up to an abnormally swollen ankle (broken, perhaps?) and a shirtless man with the most beautiful abs I've ever seen sleeping on my floor.
is your ankle ok??
WHY IS HE ON THE FLOOR. SINCE WHEN DOES BLACKOUT ME ALSO COCKBLOCK ME
Randomize
