This old guy in denny's is sitting alone and he is looking at us and laughing for no reason
so he must've not known that your lastname is Came because everytime someone would say your name he would scream "NO SHE DIDNT" to the whole party. He must've not been too good then either.
Be here at 3:30. We'll find out how much beer can fit in a Mini Cooper.
the australian girl literally just drank an entire pitcher of beer in about twenty seconds. i want to go to there.
SHE JUST SHOVED MY HAND DOWN HER PANTS AT THE BAR
Don't text me with that hand
Just so you know, this text is a buffer between the two guys I'm sexting. Can't get that shit messed up.
As I type I'm climbing my cousins swingset so I can take a nap inside the slide. Fuck this hangover. I always win.
My goal for the night is to see your housemate's one lonely teste.
Someone want to explain the bottle of ranch I found in my pants
I threw a hotdog at the security guard and called the bartender "goodlooking for a 35 year old who was rode hard and put away wet"... I would have kicked me out too
In related news... Actually, nope. I don't have any orgy-related news. You win.
I can tell right now that knowing you will either be really fun or ruin my life
no body wants to do anything today cause it's too cold, but a guy can only masturbate so many times a day. Ya know
He has an accent when he types. I can *hear* the schnitzel. Especially when he's drunk.
I'm fine w planning around your penis prospecting. Saturday it is.
Randomize
