There is something about drinking on a golf course and getting with younger women that just really makes me feel at home.
The seats are awesome but you see two of each player.
the fucking easter bunny is here. he just made 3 cups in a row. no one knows who he is..
I'm bringing Sergeant Single Slut out this weekend. I hope you're ready for her.
I don't even fuck like that, he just happened to be in the right place at the right drunk.
They don't even know who I am but they just woke me up with maracas and invited my boobs to a kegger
sexting foreigners is the best. they respond with silly things like "love that tits"
Nobody will take a lit match to your nipple without warning you this time. Pinky swear.
Dude, you stalking his LINKEDIN profile will NOT affect your chances with him. We aren't 40...
I'm sorry for drunkenly throwing a spoon at you and then laughing at your pain.
They ran out of toilet paper so I used the rug to wipe my vagina
Your cousin just directly asked you for nudes
like, you weren't just lying there, you were wrapped in what appeared to be the skin of a wolf, chanting doomsday prophecies
THE END IS NEIGH
A cop may or may not have seen my bare ass against the moonlight within the past hour
It seems I've entered my 21st birthday the same way I entered this world: naked, crying and smothered in someone else's bodily fluids...
Randomize
