I think, one-on-one, Paul Rudd could be very threatening in like a REALLY good way.
Her boobs were tiny. I could have used her bra as a blind fold. Which in hindsight would have made things a lot better.
It was a rude awakening when I turned on my phone and the first thing I saw was a picture of David's dick with a face on it, I need to stop drinking in his basement...
I was fucking the girl and her best friend walked in on us. She said we looked thirsty, got us a glass of water, and poured it down both of our throats. It was like... sex bottle service
I assume it was your influence that had me go from DD to waking up out on the deck with one eyebrow shaved off??
I just saw my first passed out person, sprawled out on the sidewalk like they died. I wanted to take a pic but I thought that screamed "tourist"
his name is devion and he has a voice like velvet and handcuffs
Today is a wonderful day to be mildly hungover
you know she was a bad idea when your mom offers to pay for an eHarmony account
Everytime I try to keep track of the amount of people I slept with I always forget about that guy I met on the dc metro, where I woke up to him organizing his Special K and Molly and I was covered in sleeping cats.
No more twerking this week. I think I dislocated a boob.
After an hour of searching for my pants, we had three people looking. They were finally found in the oven.
tinder day one and i already had more guys message me about "the girl with the big tits in my second picture" than about me. MY 17 YEAR OLD SISTER CAN GET LAID WITHOUT EVEN HAVING TO MAKING A PROFILE
to be fair she does have a great rack
What do you mean not that crazy? I had sex last night. with my\nBOSS. in the restaurant where we WORK.... ON A DINNER TABLE.
It stopped being casual for me when I waxed my vagina for you
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