Just so you know, I have a bf.
I guess as long as you bring single girls over and cook cannolis you will still be useful.
we watched a tutorial on how to do guidette makeup
Just had a guy dressed only in a towel ask me for a cig, hug me and kiss me then proceeded to pee of the balcony while still talking to me and callin me baby
I feel like I've wasted too many painkillers on hangovers
I thought he wouldn't talk to me again. You know, what's that saying "why buy the cow when you can fuck it six hours after meeting"
Walking down the street trying to find the pants I had on last night
That kid who fell through your coffee table is here. In a toga.
I guess the study abroad went badly, I gave him a joint and he just smoked it and cried all the way from the airport
He used the expression "my couch is your couch" as a come on line.
There is no amount of alcohol that can make me forget I had a Jimmy Kimmel sex dream
remember how i yelled at you for inviting that coke dealer to the party?! i found the $100 bill they were snorting with in the couch.
..new slutty dresses or booze? i won't even waste time with the i told you so.
He's def the type to chop us into bits whilst screaming "NAPA BITCH". AKA my type
It would have been nice to break the dry spell with nice, civilized, sober sex somewhere other than on my friend's couch.
third nipple confirmed
I woke up alone, naked in her bed staring at a lifesize poster of edward cullen,actually I'm lying I did have socks on
Randomize
