i just told my boss to make it rain at camelot later...what is wrong with me?
Sitting at a red light. Windows are down. I'm blasting Gaga's "Disco Stick" and doing an interpretive dance to it because I think I'm hilarious. Look to the left and see two Phi Delts that I know with their windows down. They are horrified. I am probably going to lose their Facebook friendships.
You all can go fuck yourselves. As far as I'm concerned, don't come back to karaoke.
Reading in my econ of energy textbook about the US' largest oil spill from the 1990's.. guess i can't sell this one back either
Just crossed the line from casual pregrame to public intoxication. Shotgunning in a bus shelter.
I promise a much better performance tomorrow than last night my penis has a bed time
You told me you aren't worried about the police that you've been training for this an that the last three months of your life have been devoted to building up your stun gun tolerance and pepper spray recovery time.
Whatever. I'll just fuck him now and deal with the clingyness later.
I mean i can't really be mad...either way i was gonna fuck him or hate fuck him, so it's basically a win/win situation.
I just windexed my mirror headboard, Lets get to work.
Everyone was passed out so I turned off the lights and locked all the doors. I also took the chicken sandwich in the microwave as payment.
I just soaked a sugar cookie in nail polish remover to clean off my nails because I was too lazy to walk to the bathroom to get a cotton ball. Is this what rock bottom feels like?
Two really nice girls helped clean the taco out of my hair.
I don't know what song to play at my bong's funeral!
Unless you count my weekly workout where I drink wine, listen to obscure/cheesy records, and pretend I'm a ballerina...no. I don't exercise.
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