Does having sex in the men's bathroom on the boardwalk count as having sex on the beach?
I can mark tailgating, going to the game and getting road head off my to do list today
Just got a script for 120 vicodin with 6 refills. I feel like michael jackson.
I could make treat bags
True Life: I hate vaginal excretions
on todays agenda: meeting with a life coach then going to the dollar store to buy batteries for my vibrator. clearly im still unemployed.
We need to reprogram your vagina to say "no"
at least the person I hooked up with donates to charity, the shirt I was wearing this morning was his relay for life shirt.
Just woke up to the best idea ever. Vodka infused BUTTER. Take a second, and think of the possibilities.
My Saturday dick is so much more impressive than my Tuesday dick.
The last thing I remember was paying off her younger brother not to judge me, then puking on his shoes.
he apologises profusely for spelling mistakes in his texts but doesn't care about cheating on me. priorities
You were throwing cups at people in the basement, yelling at them to get out of your swamp.
I had to write an apology letter to my roomate for hotboxing in our bathroom. What a bitch.
I can't believe you guys got into a sword fight over a chicken nugget
Oh, so that's where all the scratches came from...
When he pulled out it sounded like a balloon deflating
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