Lost. The hour! Funtime!!!!
did you know that the clit is basically just a tiny penis? Ya.. So just think about that next time you're down there.
the trail of clothing leading from the bed to the door was in the exact order i needed to put them on. underwear near the bed shoes by the door.
I think I told some stripper my friend owned Groupon Last night
Please call me back as soon as your phone is charged, if you die tonight I don't want the last thing I said to you to be "I just farted a little"
Speaking of testosterone. I saw a girl with a moustache thicker than one I can grow last night...
Smoked a topless bowl this morning. For International Women's Day. Quite liberating.
we went from five shot glasses to three in one night. we lost 'badass' and gumbi, but the ninja turtle survived. courtney says to avoid any more casualties we're not allowed to use shot glasses past 1am. and we're not allowed to throw them
No. I'm laying on the floor naked. I almost made it to the shower
This could be the definition of living by yourself
Can we just focus for a minute on the fact that I HAD MY FIRST LESBIAN ENCOUNTER.
Right. How rude of me to inform you that you're going to be an aunt.
am i new drunk or am i still drunk
He offered to buy me free breakfast if I stayed at the hotel overnight with him. I then realized they have a complimentary breakfast.
sidebar: i fucked your brother last night
You stopped loving me for a minute.
You sent me "Is nap," I don't think that really counts as a conversation starter.
momentary stint on a second floor library computer...guy next to me snorted blue adderall off his notebook through a cut straw, i cant tell if this guy is my hero or just plain crazy...
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