You were wearing a sombrero. And a crown. And told me to use the nerf gun to protect your room from the cat. You don't have a cat.
well isn't that the pot calling the kettle a make out whore
i asked if you wanted help changing your sheets after you threw up in bed. you politely declined. i take no responsibility after that.
I thinking of taking all of the pics of his dick that he's sent me and making a calendar.
found glitter on my cock. thank you for bringing me to that dance recital.
Lets just fuck. We'll decide if it was makeup or breakup sex after.
You were trying to swim on the floor while eating a hot-dog bun and laughing about how much you hate bread and didn't understand why you were eating it..
It turns out tequila bombs is really code for straight shots of tequila…who would have guessed?
your house isnt even gonna be on google maps after this party
Yes, I have your ice luge mold. I'll do a prisoner exchange for the beer bong
Breaking a step ladder over someone's back turned into a really fun game, way too quickly.
I will be there. invited or not. I go where the pancakes go.
Decided I'm going to wear a shirt that says "I'm sorry" whenever we go back to that fraternity
I apparently ooze single. The second I left his house after break up sex five of my old booty calls text me
So learned a new trick last night.... Taking body shots from my own tits... Mom would be so proud
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