can you wear a superman outfit if we ever have sex?
New high or new low? Cat walked into the bathroom while I was taking a #2, looked @ me, sneezed and walked out..
Why are we friends again?
Lol speaking of weird...he just sent me a naked pic of himself that said "meow" at the bottom.
Life after highschool has not been kind to her. She looked fatter than Luke Wilson's face in those AT&T commercials.
What is an appropriate "thanks for saving my life" gift? I don't have any experience with this.
I come back upstairs and there he was sitting in a speedo. He handed me a blanket and said "let's cuddle" how is this real life?
It took me fifteen minutes to go from puking on my doorstep infront of my old lady neighbor to legit presentable person able to care for children. Bronzing powder and I deserve an award.
Don't stress. That was a joke. I'd trust my pets with no one else. Accidents happen. Sometimes things go smoothly when you help a neighbor out and sometimes you electrocute their fish. Life is funny that way.
Sexting across continents is really a perfect example of how far technology has come.
Negotiating with my body. We're ok. Violent upheaval is not necessary.
Need advice bro. Which one should I take: the blonde devil crying in the corner or the brunette crawling on the floor acting like a dinosaur??
WE ARE DOING DRUGS AND GOING TO THE STRIP CLUB SATURDAY LADIES
as a guy is it bad that even my mom called me easy?
I want you to defile me in my childhood bed.
Fuck the system, do you have any medieval weapons?
Randomize
